One of The Most Important Questions You Can Ask Yourself

And the art of choosing to change your mind

Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash

What do you want?

This is one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself. Because the clearer you are about your goals and desires, the more likely you are to achieve them.

Dreams aren’t just unrealistic fantasies. They’re meaningful messages worthy of attention and respect that leave a breadcrumb trail to our happiness.

If your days are filled with stress, exhaustion, and constant battles of feeling not enough, I’ve got some hope to share that just might change your life.

A Metaphor to Set The Stage

Last Friday, after a busy work week, my husband and I plopped down on the couch to enjoy the escape of a movie. A great friend recommended a “must-watch” film, and we cued it up. Both of us excited to have a relaxing evening with the mindless break of television.

Unfortunately, that’s not what occurred.

The movie starred a well know actor whose previous work I love. However, this particular movie was far from the stress-free, inspiring story I was eager to watch.

The screen was filled with violence, corruption, shady business practices, and even shadier family dynamics. There was lying, stealing, manipulation, yelling and fist fights, abuse, infidelity, extreme recklessness, and overall unchecked chaos.

I could feel my anxiety rise. This wasn’t even close to the experience I expected or how I envisioned my evening playing out.

After nearly an hour of waiting, hoping, and yearning for a positive arc, Adam and I looked at each other and said simultaneously, “Wanna watch something else?”

The Movie of Your Life

When you press pause and observe the movie of your life, what do you see?

Do you have a life full of joy, meaning, and purpose?

Or does your alarm go off, and you immediately feel the heaviness of dread at the thought of facing yet another jam-packed day?

I see clients that are exhausted, burned-out, and unfulfilled. They’re disconnected from themselves and what’s really important. Too busy caught up in the hustle to remember that they are the star.

It’s like they forgot about their options and choices to do anything else besides playing the role of someone who misplaced their dreams.

Sadly mistaken that they must accept their dreary, alternate universe, I lovingly guide them back to the richness of reality.

The Simple and Hard Truth

The challenge is many of us aren’t sure what we want.

We’re working, commuting, taking care of children, and overwhelmed with responsibility and decision fatigue. We’re stuck in the daily grind, too busy to question our habits or ponder the potential of our lives.

We get comfortable in the discomfort. Accepting what feels like our inevitable fate.

And yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.

In Mark Nepo’s New York Times bestseller, The Book of Awakening, he writes,

So we hide our dissatisfaction with the life we’ve created and secretly hunt for an imagined cure for what it means to be who we are.

The truth is, you, and only you, have the potential to change our life.

If you’re stuck in a rut, fearful of what your life has become, or confused about your next step, here’s a simple exercise to take back your time.

Grab a notebook or a journal and ask yourself this question. Don’t censor. Just let your imagination run wild.

What specifically do you want?

Or better yet, what do you want your life to feel like?

Don’t get caught up in the tyranny of how.

Don’t put limits on yourself or worry about feasibility. Just write. No one else needs to see this.

And don’t just think about it. The magic happens when you write it down.

Because desire is the fuel that drives transformational change.

What does this have to do with my time?

Our lives are a blueprint of our daily habits. Of our small actions and choices.

If you’re playing a part in a movie you don’t like. You, my dear, have options. You hold the remote.

Because being conscious of how your time is used is the critical difference between a life of joy, meaning, and proud accomplishments and one full of stress and discontent.

Lackluster habits around time, focus, and boundaries won’t allow for a rich, extraordinary life, especially in these uber-connected yet oh so disconnected days.

There’s a better way to live. Clarity arises when we pause, take stock, and remember the power of our personal agency to decide our fate.

A quote from Cheryl Strayed’s Brave Enough comes to mind,

Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it.

Let that marinate for a while.

. . .

Rebecca Murauskas is a Life Coach for Professionals. She helps people be free of overwhelm, reclaim their purpose, and feel fulfilled. Rebecca and her husband, Adam, abandoned their careers and moved to Panamá in 2019 to pursue passions for helping people heal. Take the free Time Saver Quiz and find additional content at RebeccaMurauskas.com.